Connected

‘This really really stresses me out’ I thought and looked at the spinning wheel on my laptop trying to connect to the cafes ‘free wifi’ .
At the same time I ate my food one handed, clicking frenetically on the keyboard trying to get in touch with cyberspace…

As I sat in a cafe, waiting for a friend, I could not leave, and I had no book. No Ipod or what to doooo….no stimulation more than ME?

I can turn it around and not be stressed I thought. What if I can not connect with all the people who have emailed me, see the notifications on FaceBook or see who have retweeted me, and who is the people who retweet my blog posts really… I can’t find out as I can not stalking them online. Im down, don’t get connected. Im an isolated Island. In a busy café, with jazzy tunes in the background. After a brilliant meeting talking Buisness strategies and future plans for and with Wotever World.

So, time to think. To be in Now.

I finished my food.

And I thank, thinked, thought….

When Wotever started back in 2003, there was no facebook. But we had emails… and we quickly set up an email list by asking for peoples emails when the enter the club. It was a quick way to get info out. The amount of times I sat there trying to enter decipher email addresses who came back as failed mail as I did not know if there was an I or an l or was it the number 1 maybe….

Flyer with me on, a me as my Drag King Persona Red Viking Photo Kash Edit Me
Flyer with me on, a me as my Drag King Persona Red Viking
Photo Kash
Edit Me

Then there was myspace, a great portal to see and find out more of the people who became your myspace friends/pals/followers…And reaching people out there in the world. It was the beginning of seeing who was on tour and about to come to London… Queers who travel. We are many who move between countries, homes and various cities, and we can be as HOME in Stockholm as in Berlin, San Francisco as in London or elsewhere in a year.

And the websites with images we added… I started to add content to a space ending with .tk as it was free and I learnt how to do it. Adding Photos and text to a space where people could join in and connect even after the clubnights. The responses where always, ‘oh I wish there was something like Club Wotever in my city, village, hometown’ The photos we added were of the people who went and took part….

And thinking back like this, I realized how dependent Wotever is about the connections, the reach outs and even if we are still very very good at doing the actual parties and events live, Bear Wotever at Bar Wotever on Tuesday was a true hoot of flesh, charm and smart acts on stage and Brilliant friendly people in the audience. Be sad if you missed it as it was AMAZING!, we are also pretty darn good to stay in touch via the interweb and on line….. when it works.

Stay in Touch via our web outlets.
Join Us at our Parties and events when you can

When I asked people how to describe Wotever in three words recently, these were some of the words they sent me, online, via email: quirkily, crazily, inclusive, My London Livingroom! Queer Authentic, Bighearted, Queer, Flower Power, Rain bow… How would YOU describe it in Max three words? In Person and or On Line…

peaceful_ending_ii__by_arbebuk-d4typ9rWotever Would Not have Been and Happened for this long without Internet and International connections…

And me, I need to now and then NOT Be On Line. I have to remember this when I get stressed out and not connected.

Twitter:@WoteverWorld, @BarWot, @WoteverFilmFest

and our FaceBook page

 

Over and Out!

This is my Kind of Relax

My name is Ingo, I am 51 years old, dyslexic and with another language as my first, so be prepared it might be a bumpy ride and a grammar police’s nightmare. My thoughts are mine and I only represent myself. I run Wotever World as Gender and Drama is my Passion!

This was Day #08 of my Blog Challenge.

Sissy that walk

Sissy that walk..

Wot if I was big solid and built like a brickhouse? Deep down I always wanted to be a Drag Queen. I am a Bearded Drag Queen within.

I glorify stereotype crossovers and somehow Drag Queens always seem to be where it’s at. I am a Drag King, but I love the Glamour that I can have and be as a Queen…

Me getting a face by Darren, the most glorious Make Up Artist I know!
Me getting a face by Darren, the most glorious Make Up Artist I know!

Gender. Is given and expected to stay within a given frame. When growing up you get formed by media, family and within situations where you are – school enviroinment and leisure activities.. You learn behavior based on fictional and real people around you… you try to adjust YOU and who you are. You learn who you should fall in love with, based on your genitalia…..

It is all rather tiresome and at some places there are spaces were you can break all those assumptions if you grow up, if you survive and move to adulthood…

Me in Drag getting ready for a Dance Piece I did at Tate Modern...
Me in Drag getting ready for a Dance Piece I did at Tate Modern…

Starting all over with a new found set of ‘rules’ and assumptions, learning and taking what you need from that to be more you. A more honest and true you…. This will go on and on for many years in my case…

But who are you when the options are many and varied.

You Are Everything!

All in one Go or now and then, bit by bit…

One of my inspirations are RuPaul. I have followed him and his career over the last ten years or more… SuperModel on sky high heels, strict coach in ‘But I’m a Cheerleader’ acting a male role. I watch his RuPaul Drag Race, I have seen him give confidence and human survival strategies to men, women and all and beyond. I’ve seen him being slashed by people who don’t like him, and I’ve seen him OWNING IT! Strong and Glamazonian. I heart RuPaul = True!

‘We are all born naked and the rest is Drag!’ Is one of his many smart, clever and amazing catch phrases… It is true! We are born naked. We are brought up in Drag and we live hopefully in the drag we like best, feel most comfy sexy and amazing in! For everyday and party! And when we mix it up, borrow from ALL our Sources and inspirations. And we do it like Ru. OWNING IT!! Without shame or second thoughts.

Do not let others tell you what you are and should wear. And use those hips, belly and arms in your walk, smile and Own the World!

And then, Judith Butler! ‘Nobody is a gender from the start.’

It’s says it all really.

My name is Ingo, I am 51 years old, dyslexic and with another language as my first, so be prepared it might be a bumpy ride and a grammar police’s nightmare. My thoughts are mine and I only represent myself. I run Wotever World as Gender and Drama is my Passion!

This was Day #07 of my Blog Challenge.

Tainted Love

 A fictional drama set to one of my all time favourite songs. It is lived. it is thought. It had to happen. I survived. And I want more. 

Sometimes I feel I’ve got to
Run away I’ve got to
Get away
From the pain that you drive into the heart of me

Oh that feeling when Love and Lust is bigger more painful then life itself.
The Drama when you can not eat, sleep or do anything else..

The love we share
Seems to go nowhere
I’ve lost my lights
I toss and turn I can’t sleep at night

And Bam – the worries and the sadness. I want you but do not know how to have you – I lust after you but you do not seem to be as interested… You haven’t come home yet – where are you? HeartACHE

Once I ran to you (I ran!)
Now I’ll run from you

Better leave you before you leave me. I love you. But I hate you! Thinking of you take too much of my time…

This tainted love you’ve given

I loved every minute of it and I want more!

I give you all a boy could give you

I gave you my big dick, my fat dick, the buttplug, my fingers and all the extras in my toolbag!!

Take my tears and that’s not nearly all

I give you tears and passion, you haven’t seen hurt till you have seen my kind of hurt! HURT, I tell You!

Tainted love
Tainted love

Now I know I’ve got to
Run away I’ve got to
Get away

Best coping mechanism ever – Run away, Leave the country – Get a new Identity. I’m Leaving NOW!!

You don’t really want any more from me

Honestly, I do not want any more from you Either! So there! Said with Tearful eyes brimming over of sadness and pain… I …. don’t…. want….

To make things right
You need someone to hold you tight

Fuck Off I tell You. FUCK OFF! I will go out and find someone else and we will so who is SAD then… Aaah

You think love is to pray
I’m sorry I don’t pray that way

No Way! I was fair and honest. Played no games or not like yours anyway. No. Im the hurt one!

Once I ran to you
Now I’ll run from you
This tainted love you’ve given

—-Silent treatment!—

I give you all a boy could give you

I fucked you and made you cream and scream. I bought you dinner and drinks… You even met my family. I was there for you.

Take my tears and that’s not nearly all
Tainted love
Tainted love

Drrrty. I feel Drrty! Used…

Don’t touch me please
I cannot stand the way you tease

Body – shut up, You don’t want them again. Body! Stop it I say. Time for Brain to Be strong when my body and heart is weak… Ooooooh! FUCK!

I love you though you hurt me so

No Way! No. Not Me! Not at All!

Now I’m going to pack my things and go

I change my phone number, email address and facebook status! Now! I block You and I Do Not Want You Baby!

Touch me baby, tainted love
Touch me baby, tainted love
Touch me baby, tainted love

I’m strong. I leave. I go now. Look at me. I’m going… don’t try to …….stop……meeeeee

Once I ran to you
Now I’ll run from you
This tainted love you’ve given
I give you all a boy could give you
Take my tears and that’s not nearly all
Tainted love
Tainted love
Tainted love

Fuck Off! I’m yours forever! But this doesn’t work!

Bye

The End

a new football film…

Last night I went to the cinema*, and before my film started there were as usual trailers and a lot of ads, and why is there always so many car ads before the film nowadays? Anyway. One of the trailers was about a new film about football. In short – it’s about a coach coming to help/train one of the worst national teams ever, the American Samoa national Football team. They lost big in the past, the coach is a Dutch guy and one of the players in the team is Jaiyah, a member of American Samoa’s ‘third gender’, the Fa’afafine, a Samoan term that denotes a person of the male gender with feminine qualities. And there is a lot of Football. Practise and various set ups. It does look tho that the film is A about Football but also B about Human Potential, maybe it’s a ‘underdog’ film.. losers train and win amazingly… or it’s about acceptance. I have no idea what the ‘aim’ of the film and story line is but it does look kinda interesting…

Trailer look very interesting, but I found it widely disturbing to all the chuckles and giggles in the cinema salon as soon Jaiyla was talking in this short trailer. Oooh people…


I will go and see this film when it has it’s release, for Jayla, the team and what seems like a very good guy coaching.

Otherwise this is my kind of Football 😉 Everyone can be part, and no matter sun or snow… Plus cheer and support each other! A good Goal is a Good Goal! This also double as Todays Music as Abba’s SOS is coming on towards the end.
I love this film! Tillsammans (Together) by Lukas Moodyson – if you ever need a ‘pick-me-up’ film. Watch It!

Today was day no #05 of blogging… I let the mood take me where ever and I only do this because I can. Love and Peace! Tomorrow is another day.

* Film I saw last night was Grand Budapest Hotel – A lovely cock and bull story. Go See If You want some escapism. Literary, at one point there is the funniest escape from a prison I’ve ever seen.

I like a bit of drama..

Cinematic life lessons

One of my secret, guilty Out and Proud pleasures is movies. Films and Dramas. Love it! Over the years inspiration and education, understanding and friendships have come via shared love for and interest of visual moving images. Some of my best moments have been with and by films and here are a few of my favorites and why. List is based of what I remember today so, sorry to all of you films I’ve forgotten in this moment – this might get a sequel….

Go Fish – when I saw this I was living in in Stockholm, working at Rosa Rummet (like Gay’s the Word but smaller and now sadly closed down) I saw this black and white film on VHS and loved the ‘community’ described in the film, the feelin’ that hair length did matter for love…. And the DYKE feelin’. It was the first unapologetic Lesbian film I’ve seen, no one died in the end and they were happy, sad and very smart and funny. It felt like I saw me and my friends in a film for the first time… The need to be represented and seen is major and films help us create and understanding not only for ourselves but of others too. Most films done is still unashamedly straight and have a very simple plot script with few varieties.

Lesson: We need to be seen! Our reality matters!

Manhattan – Yes, I did love this film, but at the moment I find it hard to watch tho after all said and done by Woody Allen, a lot of suspicious and awful facts of his life. Looking at this trailer make me cringe now. But for many years this was a film I returned to many times for a bit of drama, New York taste (I still haven’t been to NYC but I’ve seen it over and over in soooo many movies….)

Lesson: Time might change how you see things

Women on a verge of a nervous breakdown – After I saw this the first time at the cinema, I went back and saw it again a few days later. Laugh out Loud fun and so screwed up. This was when I first fell in love with Pedro Almodovars films, colors, style and music. His twisted mind and slapstick comedy… Lately his films have become a bit too slick and polished, but I am still a devoted fan. Plus, in this film I completely fell in love with a Terraced garden. I wand to have a roof garden like this one day!!

Lesson: Grow things! It’s good for the soul and it calm the nerves

Tsotsi – I first saw this film when visiting Warsaw and my friend Kash. We had a day off, possibly after a show we done and went and saw a Photographic exhibition. The exhibition was held in the same building as a cinema that had this film on show and we both said we wanted to see it. So we bought tickets.. It had Polish subtitles and they spoke Tsotsitaals in the film, both language I do not know anything of. So I saw the whole film without understanding the words. But the visuals spoke millions and the drama built was heartbreaking. Then I’ve seen it again with English subtitles and got more of the context. But I really really liked seeing it without knowing the words. A certain kind of freedom when the story told in visuals are this strong and beautiful and important. Loved it!

Lesson: Language is only one way to understanding

Parks and Recreation – this ditzy of a comedy and running series just finished season 6 in US , you can see some of series 3? At bbc iplayer atm. So far they have done 111 episodes in total and I’ve seen them all. I would say I have laughed out loud at least once at 98 of these episodes.. When I had hurt my foot last year (tore a muscle) and had to be still for a while, I was given a link to see this online and I saw them back-to-back on pain killers, half a sleep and in pain. And It was brilliant. Now I dip in to them when I need a bit of quick fix of fun for half an hour.

Lesson:  A laugh makes pain easier to live with. Plus, together we make shit happen…

ps, the trailer below is a fan trailer and cut and paste job… Fans will love it and understand the inside joke…

Todays music: Harpo with Moviestar, as this was important and played on many of my first Mixed Tapes, and I danced to it at many school discos…

This was my Day #04 of the challenge. So far I have enjoyed it a lot! But ooh, it really does take time. This blog took me about two hours to write….

Like Queer Film and people who share them? Join our Wotever Film Festival Page on Facebook! This is our fourth one and it will take place over Four Days! Submissions is still open if you want to share your film. 

My name is Ingo, I am 51 years old, dyslexic and with another language as my first, so be prepared it might be a bumpy ride and a grammar police’s nightmare. My thoughts are mine and I only represent myself.

Have you always been like this?

Have you always been like this? He asked.

Just a few minutes ago I had a knock on my door. I opened and there was an older gentleman and a younger one standing there, smiley and curious looking, asking if I would like to talk about the bible.
I said no
And then the older gent said. Have you always been like this?

What he meant by this had me thinking when I went back to the last of my breakfast coffee…..

Have you always been like this?
As in Have you always said NO to talking to strange men who uninvited knock on your door and wanna have a discussion?
Yes. If I do not have time or feel like it. I say NO.

Have you always been like this?
Maybe he meant by my look… I had jus had a shower so my hair was wet and slicked back. I was in football shorts, and a tshirt barefoot… Read male/female? Who knows…. But have I always chose to wear comfy loose fitted clothes when I am home and relaxed eating my breakfast. Yes.

Have you always been like this?
Let’s say I was read Gay, Queer or Whatever, and they read as obvious male and quite possibly straight. Have I always known that I have a mind of my own and can answer whatever I want and like. Fuck Yes I have always been like this!

Have you always been like this?
According to my mum, I haven’t changed much since I was two years old… and by this she refers to my strive and go get attitude. My parents have always encouraged me to go for and stand for what I want. Over the years they have suffered a lot of heartache and scary moments with me in the family but they have always stood by me one way or another. So have I always been like this? Yes. Say my mum.

The Church me and my grandma visited
The Church me and my grandma visited

Have you always been like this?
Of course not – many times I have questioned why and what in the bible and on a bigger scale really.. Im not belonging to an organized religion, but I went to church, protestant Christian (Swedish Church) with my grandma as we both liked the rituals and the singing. And if we were lucky the ornaments and flowers were out, making the church room look and smell pretty. When I was little it was as much entertainment one could have where I grew up. I did go to church as it was a meeting space for the locals (very Vicar of Dibley) . One of priests Börje Björklund, were an older gent who talked about local history and made us feel important. It felt safe and was fun. The basics of the bible where great – treat others as you want to be treated. Be kind to your neighbour and help those in need. These were things that I learnt from it. But then, when I was about 20 my mum told me that this priest was one of the biggest anti female priests in the country. Ie, I had liked and respected a guy who did not believe I and all the other females were equal and could do the same job as he had. That hurt and made me realize… People can be good and inspire on some levels – but you don’t have to believe in everything they stand for and therefor question peoples needs…..

Have I always been like this?
Not always but I learnt along the line and I will continue to learn as long as I live.

But hey,  does it not scream of some desperation by having to get up early on a Saturday morning and knock on strangers door to convince people to YOUR Beliefs? I find it in equal measures sad, annoying and pathetic. Let’s hope these guys come to their senses and start enjoy the day – smell the roses and live as they are and want. And maybe they do. We just have to all accept each other…

I closed the door by wishing them a Good Day and then I made a peace sign, and blessed them with a loud ‘Peace and Love’. That was all I could do really.

Have I always been like this?

Today’s Tune is an amazing song sung by an amazing guy and it was given to me by an amazing woman some years back. Thank You. Love It!

this was my Day #03 of my challenge to write a blog each day for thirty days, and it was  inspired by these two gents knocking wanna chat about the bible. For that I am grateful 😉

My name is Ingo, I am 51 years old, dyslexic and with another language as my first, so be prepared it might be a bumpy ride and a grammar police’s nightmare. My thoughts are mine and I only represent myself.

ps. Quickly, here is my top three favourite knocks on the door:

1. Friends coming over for dinner or games, or lovers for sex – you know, People you are expecting and have invited.
2. Mail too big to fit through the letterbox – specially mail with good news and info.
3. Food Deliveries.

So many good reasons for good knocks, but these might be my favourites.

 

 

Options

Yes, No, I don’t know..

The right to change my mind and hold opposite opinions…

Over the years I have noticed within myself that I get less and less certain about stuff. There is always two or more sides on many things… this makes life more interesting but also more confusing. What If I’m not right, what if I should do it like that or like that instead….  All was so much more easy when I was 5. Then I knew for sure what I wanted and where I was going. ‘I want THIS! And I want it NOW!’

Options is a glorious thing, but oooh how they trick my mind and oooh how glorious this thing of age and time, things who looked mega important when I was 20 is not so necessary when Im 30, because then I need….

The list of changing stand points and moving about is one of the corner stones within what I do with Wotever. It is a strength to have a very flexible mind in many situations. Sometimes it might backfire but then I always look into – what do I really really want. And answer is nine times out of ten. Coffee. Or Liquorish tea or maybe a glas of red wine…. Ohh maybe a glas of water to start with and then I’m fine….. But seriously, I try to do and live everyday to the max, even if  I’m not really do much, as nowadays I also know that some days I need to function and create and be 100% ON. With my wondering mind and flexible opinions.

A few years back I did mark this standpoint ‘You can go That way OR That Way’ on my body with a tattoo. It is two arrows pointing in opposite directions with a small circle in the middle… Like on a compass.  It stands for all the things I like and that have colored my decisions that I’ve made so far. I can go and leave my home and area where I grew up and move to the city. I can keep working or study.  I can fall in love with someone who sees me and love me back or a nuthead who take me on a journey I never would have known otherwise. I can express myself  female and male and be ok with it.  I am in charge of my oppose opinions.  And I’ve learnt to treasure them all as cobblestones that  build my road, my way  forward (and back).

Once I was at a workshop and one of the facilitators said. ‘Let your feet do your talking’ meaning if you are not ok where you are you can walk away. Not always easy, I know. But for me it was one of these eureka moments… simple as that, let your feet do the talking, they take you in whatever direction you need and want. Don’t stand still if you are not happy or fulfilled. Move  them somewhere else,  test things, but also know that your feet  can take you back to what really was important and where you want to stay. For a Long Time. But know that when time is ready… you can get out and  move to new adventures…. Inside and out.

This was my Day #02 thinking… it might all be very different tomorrow

My name is Ingo, I am 51 years old, dyslexic and with another language as my first, so be prepared it might be a bumpy ride and a grammar police’s nightmare. My thoughts are mine and I only represent myself.

This Video makes me feel all is possible, because One Day We are Old… and we can only looking back to a life we lived…  I love it and it’s one of my most played in my itunes list.


ps. If you haven’t seen the  tattoo Im talking about, and you would like to. Please ask and I might show it to you next time I see you. X

Challenges and Expectations

Sometimes one need a challenge to be motivated… Right?

The other night I talked to my friend Stephanie, also a keen writer – who had set herself a challenge on writing a blog each day for at least 30 days. We have been writing together before but then mostly Queer Erotica, we even held a workshop in the topic (and will again if enough people are interested, hint hint). But back to the talk at Bar Wotever last Tuesday…

Stephanie: Ingo, you should also write a blog piece a day for thirty days.
Me: shakes head
Stephanie: It could be good to get the writing juices flowing
Me: Ok. and then I am aiming for a High Five
Stephanie: I do not do High Fives, but we can shake hands on it
Me: Gives Stephanie my hand
Stephanie: I expected your handshake to be stronger. It’s not weak, but I thought you would have a very strong Firm handshake….
Me: Story of my life. People ALWAYS expect things of me… ‘sighs’

And then we talk about expectations on handshakes and what they represent.. How we want people to be and assume things..
And that I will write about. Plus my music moods and tantrums…or whatever I have in my very complicated and short attention span’ed brain.

I accepted the challenge and this is my Day #01

My name is Ingo, I am 51 years old, dyslexic and with another language as my first, so be prepared it might be a bumpy ride and a grammar police’s nightmare. My thoughts are mine and I only represent myself.

Soundtrack of the day. Why? Because it always makes me happy and dream about vibrant places and people…

 

Wotever DIY Film Festival – Submissions Now Open!

Wotever DIY Film Festival – Submissions Now Open!

We are very pleased to announce that we are now accepting submissions for the fourth Wotever DIY Film Festival, to be held from 30 August – 2 September. 
Submission deadline: 4th July 2014.

This is the fourth Wotever Film Festival and the biggest one yet, with films, discussions and more over the August bank holiday in multiple venues, and we want to screen your creations!

We are looking for shorts (3-15mins) and mid-length films (15 – 30 mins). We will consider some feature-length films although please be aware we have very limited space for these. All films need to be DIY or independent films of any genre on a Queer theme. We have a particular interest in films about queer people and queer culture reclaiming space. Other than that, our only criteria is that they must be in keeping with our Wotever ethos and as such will not consider submissions that are racist, trans*/homophobic, religiously intolerant, ableist, sizeist or in any way prejudiced or exclusionary towards a particular group or identity.

We welcome films that push the boundaries of queer thinking and ideology, are thought-provoking and progressive. Saying that, we also appreciate a nice queer-meets-queer love story, slap stick comedy or music video we can dance to.

This a film festival by and for the queer community, and we especially would love to see submissions from people who may feel under-represented in the queer community, such as people from QTIPOC, trans and disabled groups as well as people with refugee status. With this in mind please share this with your friends, lovers and family and let’s get the word out to as many corners of our wonderful queer community as possible.

For submission forms, questions, suggestions or queries contact Theresa and Tara at woteverfilm@gmail.com Please do not send your film until you have received a submission form.